A friend of mine is doing the ADF generalist study program and asked for help editing her liturgy 1 Q and A. It made me realize that I actually enjoy doing work on the ADF dedicant program and should stop procrastinating. It makes me feel like I'm a student again, which I miss. It's a study program, so it actually is a way to be a student.
The problem I have is with "remembering" to practice. I/ve got the high days down, I don't miss those, but I don't have a serious commitment to doing daily devotions. However for the past few days I've been returning to my hearth shrine and focusing on the simple devotional. It feels like coming home. I like that about spiritual practice. It doesn't fill me with anxiety about whether or not I'm going to 'do it right' or anything, I just follow the script, make my offerings, do the visualizations and meditations. Tonight I heard the words "make a connection" and saw myself walking to a nearby park that I haven't been to but that's been suggested to me.
Tomorrow I plan to rake leaves in the yard. Opening the shed for the first time this year will be an occasion, I think. I might find a way to celebrate it. There are crocuses on the lawn and I hope the tulip bulbs I transplanted will start to sprout their way out of the soil soon. I have a delightful summer of gardening ahead of me. I hope I can stay committed to that, too. I'm the type of person who starts a bunch of projects and leaves them halfway completed, so it's something that I'm working on in general.
I've done some work on the dedicant program essays this week and I'm feeling good about where I'm going with that. I've heard that people sometimes have to do rewrites so I'm trying to find ways of expressing myself that are concise yet not textbook boring.
Picking a pantheon to work with as a hearth culture has been difficult for me. I am called by gods from many different lands. I am frustrated by trying to choose just one and intimidated by the idea of syncretizing two. I have decided for now to work with the Celtic gods and get to know them better because they are the gods of the lands that many of my ancestors came from. Dancing Lights, the grove I go to if I get out to a public ADF rite, seems to work with the celtic deities as well so it would be more meaningful for me in that regard if I can form a connection to that system. I also feel a bit awkward using any other of the cultures in a druidic system. I know adf is based on a loose pan-indo-european structure that takes the similarities and forms a coherent context out of them, but for some reason it just feels weird to me to call on the Greek gods as a druid. Not sure why.